“Then that can be a good start to getting to know yourself.”
At that moment, my phone rang. It was Sarah again. This time, I did not turn it off, but I did not answer either. I let it ring until it stopped.
“Was that your daughter?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to answer her?”
“Not yet. I need time to think.”
David nodded understandingly.
“Mrs. Emily, allow me to give you some advice.”
“Please do.”
“Do not make important decisions when you are angry, but do not take them when you are afraid either. Take them when you are calm.”
“And how do I know when I am calm?”
“When you can think about the problem without your chest hurting.”
I took a deep breath. My chest still hurt when I thought about Sarah.
“Then I am not ready yet.”
“There is no rush, Mrs. Emily. Time is the only thing we really have.”
We stayed in silence feeding pigeons for almost an hour. It was a comfortable silence. No pressures, no expectations. It had been years since I experienced that feeling of peace.
“David, can I ask you something else?”
“As many times as you want.”
“Do you think I am a bad mother for having done what I did?”
David stopped handing out crumbs and looked me directly in the eyes.
“Mrs. Emily, is a good mother one who allows her child to trample on her?”
“No.”
“Is a good mother one who teaches her child that she can make decisions for another without consulting them?”
“No.”
“Is a good mother one who accepts anything to avoid conflicts?”
“No.”
“Then you were not a bad mother. You were a mother who finally decided to teach her daughter a very important lesson.”
“What lesson?”
“That actions have consequences. And that respect is not optional. Not even among family.”
His words comforted me more than I had expected.
“Do you know what hurts the most, David?”
“What?”
“That when Sarah shouted at me on the phone, she did not sound sorry for having disrespected me. She sounded furious because her plan did not work.”
“That hurts. I know. But it is also giving you very valuable information about who your daughter really is at this moment in her life.”
“What do you mean?”
“That perhaps the Sarah you raised, the sweet and grateful girl, got lost somewhere along the way. But that does not mean she cannot find herself again. And if she never finds herself, then you will have learned something painful but necessary, and you will be able to decide how to relate to her based on reality, not on your hopes.”
The phone rang again. This time it was an unknown number.
“Mrs. Emily Johnson?”
“Yes, this is she.”
