“Not over the phone. Please come home.”
“Why? So you can gaslight me in person.”
“So I can explain why we made the choices we did.”
“You mean why you chose Ava over me? Why you gambled with my health so she could have music lessons.”
“That’s not—”
Her voice broke.
“Lena, there are things about our family you don’t know. Medical things. Things we were trying to protect you from.”
That stopped me.
“What medical things?”
“I can’t— not like this. Please just come home or let me come to you, but we can’t talk about this over the phone.”
“Give me one good reason why I should believe anything you say.”
“Because I’m your mother and despite what you think right now, I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
“Funny way of showing it.”
I hung up, but her words stuck with me. Medical things about our family. Things they were trying to protect me from. I thought about the genetic counselor, about the way the hospital receptionist had looked uncomfortable when she saw my file, about the urgency in that campus doctor’s voice. What exactly did I have? What had I always had that no one would name?
I texted Ava.
“What do you know about my medical condition?”
She didn’t respond for 10 minutes. Then:
“I don’t want to get involved.”
“You’re already involved. What did you mean earlier when you said not to ask Dad?”
Another long pause.
“Mom knows more than him about the tests.”
“About what they found when you were younger?”
“What tests? What did they find?”
“I don’t know the details. I just know it’s genetic. And Mom was scared.”
“Genetic? How?”
“I really don’t want to talk about this.”
“Ava.”
“I heard them fighting once when you were in the hospital that time. Mom wanted to tell you everything and Dad said you were too young and it would just scare you and maybe you’d grow out of it.”
“I’m not going to grow out of a genetic condition.”
